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10 Things That Your First Relationship Teaches You

Jayashri Jayashankar | September 11, 2015 | 7:04 pm
10 Things That Your First Relationship Teaches You
10 Things That Your First Relationship Teaches You

Everything that happens for the time is special for several reasons. But with first relationships, it is extra special. The first date, the first time you held hands, the first hug, the first kiss, the first gift and the first break-up. First relationship can be beautiful, messy, confusing or absurd but it’s important to have one. There are plenty of things only a first relationship can teach you!

Here are 10 of the basic ones.

1. Being You

In your first relationship, you tend to change yourself, alter your ways and do a bit of denting and moulding to suit the expectation of your significant other. Post the first relationship, one learns to define oneself and connect with your partner in a more realistic way.

2. Sensing The Right Time For Things

In the first relationships, nothing is really planned. Things happen swiftly, clumsily, smoothly before you understand if it was the right time or not (the right time to make out, the right time to have sex). Once you are out of your first relationship, you figure out when and how to go further in terms of your physical intimacy.

3. Trust Logically

Everyone has a different experience in their respective first relationships, but one thing which is common is that there is innocence and vulnerability in great proportions; hence no room for manipulation or calculation of any sort. There is a strong temptation to not question (often misconstrued to offending your partner), so trusting blindly comes natural. Post the first relationship, one learns to question and eventually trust in a more logical manner.

4. Always Going With The Gut Feel

Most first relationships start with infatuation and on an impulsive note. First relationships are rarely well thought of and we often end up in a first relationship. We don’t ponder over things like compatibility, equation and camaraderie. It’s only after your first relationship, you start looking closely at things like how compatible are you, how well can you gel with your partner’s friends and vice versa.

5. Not Faking It

When it’s your first relationship, even if you don’t enjoy any one thing in particular, you pretend to like it for the sake of your partner. For e.g. your partner loves road trips, watching movies or music festivals and you don’t, you still do it fearing disappointment. And who wants to disappoint their partner?

6. Drawing A Line For Your Self-Respect

Mostly in the first relationship, one individual is always compromising. Though it starts with trivial things but often leads to hampering one’s self-respect. For e.g. your partner may poke you in front of his/her friends, or comment loosely on your hair/dressing/thinking etc and you don’t really retaliate. First relationship teaches you to be vocal about what and how you feel.

7. Prioritising Things

When you are with someone special for the first time, everything is about that person; your life in a way is centred on him/her. And while doing things for that person, be it cooking for him/her, dressing up the way he/she likes, going to their favourite spots or doing things that they like doing, we ignore our own priorities. They become our priority and we lose out on ours. First relationship teaches you to highlight your priorities as well.

8. Better Grip On Your Emotions

In our first relationship, outbursts are very common. You cry at the drop of the hat, you pour your heart out; you basically get carried away with your emotions very easily. You just don’t seem to know how or where to control them. First relationship actually teaches us to express ourselves where needed and help us get a better grip on our emotions.

9. Learn To Love Yourself

So much in love with love and that first special one that we often forget what we are worth actually. You wait for your better half to do those special things for you, and their love becomes the centre of your world. Post the first relationship, you start loving yourself the way you are and appreciate it without changing much.

10. Value Of No And When It Is Required

Mostly we are always in a ‘yes mode’ in our first relationship. Movie tonight? Yes. Shopping? Yes. My favourite restaurant? Yes. My travel destination? Yes. basically, it is mostly a yes as long as you get to spend time with that special person. You unknowingly walk the extra mile for your partner just to make him/her happy, which is fair enough. Post the first relationship, one understands when, where and to what one should say no.

Indeed, first relationship is important, don’t you agree?

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