Life would be so amazing if we could undo, redo, delete or skip certain memories, experiences or incidents from happening.
May be that moment when you fell off the stage and people out there went hysterical laughing, that moment when you sang with all the confidence and everyone roared in laughter, bumping into that one person at the subway that changed your life completely, that nasty fight with your BFF, or that silly pic that your friends tagged you in, and let the world slice it mercilessly. Memories that were weird, atrocious, embarrassing, fun, crazy, disappointing; how we so wish to let go of even the most trivial ones!
There are a zillion things tucked away in some corner of the brain or heart that make you go like, “why did this even have to happen with me?” Naturally, we consume in mustering the courage to let go of all of ‘em or just peace it out.
Imagine if there was no bigotry, anger, hatred, grudge or that feeling of being wronged? Life will be beautifully sorted. Doing away from them or letting go can be quite a task.
On a more philosophical observation, life has not really been fair to anyone. Everyone has had their share of ups and downs and had to come to terms with the fact that people come and go and situations and encounters are not always pleasant.
There is a reason why spiritual leaders incessantly speak about this or musicians write songs on this bit for that matter because unwittingly or consciously, one has to move on, let go (rather away) from bad memories, unpleasant encounters, weird people, obnoxious places and grudges to feel lighter, better, wiser and happier.
Each stage of life comes with the happiest as well as the nastiest surprises.
What matters is how to let go, accept and move along while at it. As an individual traverses through different stages of life, the definition and the intensity of letting go changes and develops.
Teenage – Temporary Damage But Permanent Imprints
Teenage is the time when everything around seems to be like a big conspiracy, the heart wants to unmask the mysteries of life all at once. Understanding changes in the body, finding a unique identity, securing a spot among peers, knowing and then loving self (irrespective of how tedious and uncomfortable it may seem), sailing through it is the most important aspect. It’s an intricate time, ergo needs to be dealt with a lot of sensitivity and patience from oneself. This takes time, may be longer than expected but hang on, the light at the end of the tunnel is closing near.
20s – Collecting Pearls Of Wisdom
“The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You don’t blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the President. You realize that you control your own destiny.” – Albert Ellis, American Psychologist.
Moving on, twenties are like Haiku poetry, everything is segregated yet connected, and only together they make sense. The official taste of freedom that comes with responsibilities leads to an instant feeling of ‘ I’m The King Of The World’, just like Jack Dawson from Titanic. Well initially, it definitely seems so. But, experience is what takes one places and helps to make some life-changing decisions, including letting go.
Around this time, serious heartbreaks, ceaseless loneliness, finding a comfort zone and perceiving everything that is seen, gradually changes to, finding a radical reason behind these happenings. The inner doubts, tendency of victimising self and a constant urge to seek an explanation or an apology tend to lose its significance.
30s – Almost Sorted
Owing to all the bad experiences that life has already thrown, as the dusts settles down, thirties seem to be a safe spot, pretty comfortable and comforting in a lot of ways. Forgiveness and indifference have become one’s trusted comrades and all other complications have been dealt with. Letting go comes naturally coz time and effort invested on wrong people and unchangeable circumstances do not hold any significance in life. All those years that passed by endow an individual with Zen like calmness and foresightedness.
This can be called the Nirvana stage. Seen it all, dealt with the unthinkable, and indulged in the unimaginable and come out like The Terminator. Life has reached that point when the feelings say, “Boy! I have seen it all, what more can go wrong, even so, every bit of me is game for it!”
Literally, entering a stage where the art of letting go has indeed come a full circle, like the Red Circle that signifies meeting of the known and the unknown. Apologised, accepted apologies, forgiven, forgotten and ultimately moved on; with a lighter heart, cleaner head, and brighter soul.
And finally….As life goes on and when individuals evolve with time, one comes to realise how trivial the whole episode of holding onto grudges was. And that is how one masters the art of letting go…