Most people do not ever intend to have an extramarital affair. In fact, most who have, say they consider having an affair is against their values.
So, how do so many good people end up having affairs and shattering their marriages? Well, mostly it is because they do not know the pitfalls and danger signs.
Danger # 1 – Getting too chummy with a coworker.
Tip # 1 – Keep conversations at the water cooler and else where casual and do not get personal. Once personal information is shared you are developing intimate with someone other than your spouse. Most affairs do not start out with the married partner intending to have an affair, they end up as a result of a “slipper slope.”
Danger # 2 – Talking about your spouse or your marrial problems with members of the other gender.
Tip # 2– Whether you are experiencing minor frustrations with your spouse or you believe your marriage is in big trouble, talk with someone who could not possibly turn into a threat to your relationship down the line. Avoid any intimacies (sharing personal information) with a potential partner.
Danger # 3 – Your friend / coworker confides in you.
Tip # 3 – Extricate yourself form the role of confidant. You are now in an intimate relationship with someone other than your spouse. Also, “being the one who understands” is very seductive.
Danger # 4 – You put effort into looking nice for this person.
Tip # 4– Be very honest with yourself about what you are doing and how you are feeling about your spouse and your marriage. There may be absolutely nothing lacking in your relationship or marriage but having someone new can be very seductive and exciting.
Danger # 5– Working late starts to include going for dinner and a drink.
Tip # 5 – Keep work at work. You may be unable to avoid working late with someone of the opposite gender. Keep in mind this is how many affairs begin. When at work late try to have a third coworker involved in the project.
Danger # 6 – You’ve stopped talking about your friend or coworker to your spouse.
Tip # 6 – Keep your spouse in the loop about this friend like you would any other friend or business associate. If you find you have stopped mentioning someone you used to mention your spouse it is again, time to be very honest with yourself. And, start talking about them again.
Danger # 7 – You keep your business calls from home “private.”
Tip # 7 – Avoid dong this at all costs. Keep these calls strictly business. If you need some quiet and go in your den make sure the door is open. If you are a connector to do so ask yourself why.
I invite you to follow these tips to help guard against an extramarital affair.