Nine Stages of the Love Cycle in Relationships

Isn’t love wonderful? Isn’t love terrible?

Isn’t it terrible how cyclical the Quest for wonderful love seems to be for you?

Let me see if I can quickly point to some compelling evidence that might, just maybe, sway your thinking and open your mind to an approach that might, just maybe, be better than all the ones you have been using all these years in your own Quest for Love.

Firstly, how many times, so far, have you been in love – or thought you were?

Think back to ALL your past relationships – not just your last, or current, one. Remember all of their names since the first one? OK, how about just the ones you’ve had sex with?

Based on my several million website visitors, my own 10,000 Heroine applications and my tens of thousands of interviews with others about relationships, along with some other, VERY non-scientific personal experiences, I’ve concluded that there are NINE Stages in all of our quests for love – nine stages that we all go through – time after time.

You. Me. Them. All of us.

Some Stages really are magnificently wonderful. Some really are downright terrible.

What was the average length of time you enjoyed the fantastic, incredible Stage Of Love that made the Quest worthwhile after all? What was the average amount of time you were left on the stage, falling out of love? How much time was spent on looking for love once again?

One of the regrettable parts of the whole process is how often we all seem to cycle between all the different Stages of Love – along with the consequential waste of time, energy and emotion.

How much of all three have you wasted, so far, in your own seemingly never-ending quest?

I know this may sound like an efficiency expert’s approach to love, but my goal is to help you minimize future time, energy and emotional waste and accelerate your success at finding your own flavour of Happily Ever After while maximizing your own Happily Here & Now.

You got to admit that is a formidable goal…but, even if a new approach was only 30% successful, might it be worth learning and incorporating into your own approach to the Quest? What if it was even more successful for you?

As you will see, I don’t consider all parts of all these cycles we go through to be a waste of time, energy and emotion. Just the opposite, as a matter of fact. Each one IS hopefully a learning and growing experience. However, you don’t want to end up having the same bad experiences more often than absolutely required.


Breathe deeply.

  1. Stage One – Love
    When the Quest can be wonderful…fantastic…incredible… consuming…
  2. Stage Two – Realization
    When the Quest can be…complacent…disappointing…distressing… fatalistic…
  3. Stage Three – Breakup
    When the Quest can be painful…hurtful…heartbreaking…devastating…
  4. Stage Four – Hiatus
    When the Quest can be numbing…depressing…draining…buried…
  5. Stage Five – Resignation
    When the Quest can be embittering…cynical…angry…lonely…
  6. Stage Six – Determination
    When the Quest can be fearful…tentative…suspicious…retreating…
  7. Stage Seven – Search
    When the Quest can be frustrating…exasperating…boring…pointless…
  8. Stage Eight – Flirtation
    When the Quest can be fun…active…distracting…seductive…
  9. Stage Nine – Infatuation
    When the Quest can be exciting…anticipating…hopeful…sizzling…

Right now, there are over 100 million single adults in the United States. Most of them, along with a LOT of married folks, are still looking for their own version of Happily Ever After – with varying degrees of luck. Virtually all of them are going through one of the Nine Stages Of Love Quest right now. My guess is that you are too.

Think you are different?

  • Can you see which Stage you are in right this minute? Which Stage were you in six months ago?
  • How many times have you cycled through each of these Stages? Can you remember all their names?
  • How many times will you cycle through all these Nine Stages during the next five years?

Here’s a hint for you: the parts of the cycle that are really worthwhile are those that help you obtain and savour and appreciate all the Happily Here & Now you can grab on your way to Happily Ever After. After all, one of the most important things I have learned, and one of the major points I hope you grow to believe and appreciate is that your Happily Ever After is made up of a series of day-in-day-out Happily Here & Nows.

Related Article: 70 Romantic Phrases That Make Men Fall Deeper In Love

Featured Image: Reader’s Digest
Source by R L Goodman