No one anticipates a breakup just like no one anticipates death. And so, no one knows the perfect way of coming out of one. Whether you see it coming or it comes as a sudden blow, breakup is painful, and what follows is even more painful. With breakup comes a series of unfathomable emotions that at times, get extremely hard to control and comprehend.
It has different effects on different people, some get over it real quick and for some, the crying is unending, loneliness haunts and most of the times it leaves one numb and unable to express their true feelings.
When a relationship ends, it hurts like hell and the acceptance takes time which is the most important part of getting over a heart burn. But, the end has to be graceful. After all, who wants to be a mess following a breakup?
When two people share a special bond and are in a beautiful relationship, both end up changing for the betterment and it is logical that way. But when the rosy picture changes into something unexpected, it gets (mostly) difficult to deduce why the breakup even happened at all. It becomes exceptionally complicated imagining your world without that special someone, not talking to them or seeing them.
But, the bitter reality is that it is all over, and it is time to pack up your emotions and leave them outside of the door. How?? No one can really say what to do but here are 5 times that you should avoid doing post breakup.
#1: Trying To Be Someone Else
When you lose someone you love, you first feel like refuting every bit of it. And while at it, you usually try to escape it by doing stupid things or investing all your energy in a different direction so that you don’t have to face the reality and suffer. Trying to do ‘things’ or trying to be someone cooler or more chilled out for the heck of proving that you are over with your partner is one of the few important things you should avoid doing. You cannot escape reality by being someone else. Embrace what happened and just be who you are.
#2: Associating Things/Places With Your Ex
It’s natural that when two people are in a relationship, they have a list of favourite go to cafes, restaurants, cuisines, music by a band or love doing things together like travelling, trekking etc.. Post breakup, it gets a little tricky to still love those places/things you used to with your partner because there are memories attached to each of these that you can’t wipe out. But, associating things solely with your partner is something that should be strictly avoided as world is a small place and escaping a situation is not the best way out of it.
It’s like changing cities, you stop wearing black because it was your ex’s favourite colour, or cut your hair or change your hairstyle because your partner loved it, stop eating pizza because that was your partner favourite food or stop listening to a band because it happened to be your partner’s best band too.
#3: Explaining Why It Happened (To Anyone)
When something bad happens, the world wants to know what happened. And when it is a breakup, people provoke you to answer things like why it happened, if your ex was cheating or you ended up developing feelings for someone else. And answering these questions or explaining your side of the story to friends/family etc. is not something you should entertain. Avoid putting yourself in that uncomfortable, vulnerable spot.
Because firstly, you are emotionally drained out and secondly, you are genuinely trying to get over things and talking about the past relationship can only overwhelm you, make you desperate, vulnerable or aggressive and make you do/say things that you don’t mean or approve of. Avoid speaking about the breakup unless the feeling has sunk in and you are comfortable speaking about your relationship as well as your ex with dignity.
#4: Getting Into Frivolous Flings
They say the best way to forget something is to start focusing on something new and exciting. This, however, could be the worst applicable thing, if the case is of a breakup. When you are over someone, or at least trying to be so, you unknowingly expose yourself to the world. Your state is either too callous, fragile or too vulnerable that can be easily devoured or manipulated.
Often after a breakup; you start meeting more people, hang out with them, and basically spend more time with friends and your extended circle. At this time, avoid getting into any kind of relationship – be it casual affair or one night stand.
These are just ways to plaster the damage that you have gone through or simply a cover-up which may not seem nice after a month or so.
Starting a new relationship is great but be sure that you are not doing so just to forget your ex and the breakup.
#5: Publicly Shaming The Relationship Or Your Partner
A breakup is difficult to deal with and acceptance is even harder. But always respect the moments and cherish the time you spent with your partner. Even if you were the loyal one in the relationship doing everything for your partner and working towards making it stronger, a breakup does not mean you begin swearing, publicly shaming or abusing your partner just because the relationship didn’t work out the way you thought. Own the fact that you had some amazing moments together and now neither that person nor the relationship exists.