I am in my late 20s without any boyfriend, a 4-am-friend, friends-with-benefit, or any sort of meaningful relationship with the opposite gender apart from a couple of acquaintances whom I meet once in a blue moon; to realize later that I could have done something else than meeting them.
Before, jumping into any conclusion, I would like to clarify that I have a 6 days a week job that requires 10 hours everyday (inclusive of travelling time), so frankly speaking, I can safely claim that I am an intelligent woman waiting for my soulmate and till then I am keeping myself busy, a little too busy. In fact so busy, that I don’t have the time to look for my soulmate.
I am a girl, and hence I regularly have to face a long trail of questions about my life choices and future plans. From the parlour lady to my distant relative who doesn’t even know my official name, everyone is too eager to know about my life. And to most of the questions on my marriage plans, I just use the word soulmate to get away.
This word worked well for quite sometime, until the day a colleague asked me, “What is a soulmate, according to you?”
This question caught me off-guard as I never really thought what actually a soulmate is. I just heard this word too many times while growing up and nobody ever gave me any answer that satisfied my curiosity.
Is it real or platonic or eternal? I have no clue. Is it cardinal or auxiliary? Most importantly, how will I know that this person is my soulmate?
I decided to dig deeper into this concept and assess how much workable it is for me or will it ever happen to me?
Anyhow, the first thing I decided not to do is Google this concept. I may not know anything about it yet, but I know one thing, it is a matter of an individual and I will have to define it for myself.
What and how is my soul?
To understand about one’s soulmate, the first thing we should do is to know what our soul is made of. The soul is a different from what we encounter on a daily basis; it is an unpretentious place that does not get affected by the highs and lows of life. It has its own rhythm, it has its own pace, it is insuppressible, but most of the time it is something most of us are afraid to connect to, because there is no scope to lie. The soul calls a spade a spade and that is what makes us uncomfortable to confront it.
Thus, my first task should be to identify the uniqueness of my soul and how such it can hold, keep, appreciate, and enjoy. I must figure out to which chord it dances before finding someone called soulmate.
For that I need to spend more time with myself and create a space that can not be intruded easily by anyone or anything.
What is missing from my soul or what it needs to complete my soul?
Nothing is perfect, nothing is complete! The words perfect or complete are synonym of death, end, and finish. Imperfection, incomplete are signs of improvement, it is a part of the process of growth. The soul needs to grow without loosing its true essence. It needs to grow not to accommodate anyone, please anyone, or impress anyone; it needs to grow to feel higher about self, to feel clearer, and to understand that nothing else ever mattered to the soul. It is above all superficiality.
Reading, observation, interaction, music, sounds, and voyage is nothing but a way for the soul to grow. There is no set rule, path, or classroom where the soul learns to grow. It is a continuous process and another soul can be of great help.
Where to find my soul mate?
Over the years, I have learned to tame my soul. Reading always works, nature walks, trekking, music, spending time with pets are ways to connect to the soul for me and feel content. And then, there is family and people who are close, who can see through me, who can make me feel better. So, who or what is my soulmate?
Perhaps, my soulmate is the book that I am reading currently, or the latest song or a golden oldie that I listen to on grumpy days, or the dish that makes me happy, or the trail that I love walking on every once in a while. After much thought I suppose, my soulmate is just a medium to connect with my deeper self in a way that it makes me happy.
In other words, soulmate for me is not something that I must walk up to or wait for to come riding on a unicorn (I love unicorns). I am actually living, breathing, and feeling it through things that I am doing to make myself happy. These are things that I will never be tired of, never be scared of, or never feel overdone.
Now the question is will I ever meet a soulmate in a human?
Though I am not an expert, but I suppose it is not necessary to have a soulmate in the form of a lover. It can be anyone, whosoever’s soul matches up with the wavelength of my soul. It is not about “opposites attract” or “brothers/sisters from another mother” or “match made in heaven”, it is perhaps that one whose soul is transparent to you and vice versa, and of course the view do not scare any one of the two.
May be I have already met my soulmate, may be I am yet to discover him, or may be I have found my soulmate in things that I enjoy doing! There are loads of ‘maybe’s, but one thing I am sure of; I do not need to go looking for it anymore.