How many days has it been when you battled millions of questions about your partner’s cheating? And how many ideas of saving a marriage after an affair have you come across, and later dispensed an additional burden?
While you seemingly feel like you’re drowning in the ocean of in-decisions, it seems hopeless and healing is not possible. Even more so, the most viable move to take appears unreal and fleeting. As much as you want to stick to your vow it could be a quick idea to file for divorce. No action seems less hurting. After all, it’s not just your welfare that needs to be considered, but that of the cheater. It’s even more complicated for couples who have kids who will certainly be affected by any decision arising from the extramarital relationships that a parent has committed.
For many folks encountering the problem, their experiences would be close to what you’re going through right now. After the discovery of the affair, they are wrapped in anger, grief, sudden insecurity and shame. Some even unearthed beastly behaviour within them, often resorting to violence and hurling long-held resentments, frustrations and old faults. It takes a long time for the hurt person to settle down and think better, and even the quiet episodes are not free of negative thoughts and feelings.
True, husbands and wives would have swept off reality when their spouses commit the ultimate betrayal. But some are also often filled with guilt at the thought of having pushed the affair, while some pity the aggressor and forgive them so quickly. After some discussions on how they could go about in saving their marriage after an affair, the couple would then put effort to make things right. This usually happens when the cheating partner is the breadwinner of the family and the pained party is heavily dependent, or in cases where the aggrieved partner does not have that much confidence to seek a life without the other.
Still, there are many instances when married folks take the issue with great maturity, and seek outside help. With professional assessment and intervention, their marriage details are laid out, including personalities, behaviour and goals as two individuals and as committed couples. Total honesty is expected from this option to fully understand the extramarital issues, as well as the married life of the couple. Such counselling programs come with methods of working out the marriage by rekindling romance and rebuilding the trust and respect.
Ultimately, the decision to stay together must be something the couple laid out well. As it is, saving a marriage after an affair would mean trekking a rocky road ahead. But it will be more tumultuous if the basic elements of the union have no chance of being kept.