People generally have an affair if they are unhappy with their current relationship or marriage. Saving a marriage after an affair means you have to understand why it happens in the first place. Below is a list of facts that may destroy your personal beliefs about matters or cheating.
Fact # 1: Both men and women cheat
Women who are in their 20s and 30s cheat as frequently as men their age. Research does show however that man from the baby boom period tends to cheat more.
Fact # 2: There is no specific profile of a ‘cheater’
Anyone may be sentenced to have an affair given the right set of circumstances that trigger one. It is a myth that there is a recognizable “type” of person who tends to be unfaithful. Affairs tend to happen unintentionally and more often than not, these people who have affairs did not plan for it to happen. It can happen when the person is taken off-guard, feeling down or stressed out.
Here, one of the ways to prevent from being unfaithful is to avoid possible situations that would make you vulnerable. Say, for example, you are a friendly and helpful type of person. Be on guard by not confiding about your personal information, personal life or personal problems to your collections of the opposite sex. This sets up a safety boundary line to prevent you from getting close to a particular person.
Fact # 3: It does not happen due to boredom
An affair can happen early in the marriage or late in the marriage. Research shows that it happens more often during the first two years of marriage. Women may cheat out of curiosity wherever they made the right choice in marriage partner or not. Men may cheat because it is a “guy thing” to do and this belief may come from their upbringing or background.
Fact # 4: Cheating does happen in a happy marriage or relationship
People can be happy in a marriage and still have affairs. There are so many factors that can make a person lose control and drive that person to cheat. For example, the relationship has grown apart or cold, the opportunity seems too good to be true, there is no impulse control, the marriage lacks excitement, etc. Here, keeping in touch with your spouse or partner is critical. There is a need to have daily, one to one intimate communication with your partner to remain close.
Both men and women cheat and most of the time the betrayed partner is often in the dark about the affair. Finding the root cause of the affair is important. In order to save the marriage, both partners must recommit themselves to the relationship and give their promises or vows of fidelity. However, it is essential that both partners go through the facts above and understand that it takes self-control and support from each other to make the marriage work again after an affair.
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