Your husband cheated; “Is this the end of our marriage? What went wrong? Where did I go wrong?” These are the questions you may ask after catching your husband cheating. No one expects to marry an unfaithful husband when they enter their marriage. So when it happens, it’s so unexpected, you have no idea what to do next.
After learning that the person you have built your life around has been lying and being unfaithful to you, the pain and anger that you feel can be insufferable. This is the moment where you find yourself a raging whirlpool of emotions not knowing what’s in your future.
A million things run through your mind in an endless loop making you feel used and in shock. You may feel like everything you have a count on has been crushed by his deception. You think that you are no good for anything anymore as if he’s cheating is somehow your fault. You have to find a way to NOT blame yourself. Your guilt and loss of self-confidence can cripple you.
The first thing you have to do is to face the problem. You caught your husband cheating. It has happened and there’s nothing you can do to change the past. You just have to accept the fact that you have been cheated on and he has broken his promise to you. But you do not have to pretend like everything is fine. Unleashing your anger right away can make you feel better – but only initially. However, keeping it bottled up inside can eat you up alive like cancer reducing your physical and mental health.
All those painful thoughts and feelings will linger a little longer than you think or hope, but this is natural. It will take time to heal. A commitment to yourself and your marriage, if you wish to save it, is a good beginning. Recovery and positive steps towards healing will begin after you can learn to forgive. Forgiving does not mean you are weak; instead, it is a sign of maturity. If he can match your maturity and honesty, saving your marriage together can happen. But, whether you stay or leave, put yourself first.
Do not be afraid to ask help from the people you love. A loving support system can go a long way in helping you survive his affair. Traveling down your road alone can be scary and seem impossible. But, venting with your family or best friend can help you try to control your emotions raging inside so you will be able to make the right choices and heal.
Forgiving a husband cheating is a choice you need to make with your heart and your mind. If you choose to forgive, follow through and show him. If you choose not to, end your marriage now and move forward. Discover other things that will keep you busy and happy. Do not let those painful thoughts haunt you. Remember that cheating is always about the cheater, not you!